Mysterious Liquid

I found a bucket of yellow liquid in my refrigerator the other day. As I stared at it in deep preponderance of thought, I wondered if the liquid was urine or melted butter. I thought about tasting it to resolve my query, but decided against it because of the unsavory nature a possible libation of urine would bring. Instead I decided to grease a pan with the substance before cooking some stir fry.

My residence smelled like burnt urine for several days.

Half-Eaten Sandwich

It was a long and cold morning and I had not had much to eat. On my way to an abandoned shoe factory, I witnessed a half-eaten sandwich lying in the snowy grass. I considered eating the half-eaten sandwich but then thought "What if an especially odd individual used that half-eaten sandwich to practice traditional fornication methods?"

What if, indeed.

A Shoe

I saw a shoe by the sidewalk today. My head was flooded with thoughts: A person lost one of his or her shoes. A person with one leg lost his or her only shoe. A person with no legs lost the shoe that he or she carried around for good fortune.

I was made sad thrice.

Red Coat

I saw a female walking across the street in a bright red coat. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I think it was because of the bright red coat. It might have also been because she was a giant carpenter ant.

It's difficult to say.

Old People

A lot of people think that Dinosaur is a derogatory term for old people. I don't find this offensive in the least.

I think Dinosaurs are awesome.